Na samajhana mujhe anadi...

TIMEPASS

Na samajhana mujhe anadi
Main hoon ek khiladi
Na seedhi saadhi bohli
Main hoon tez dhari
Na mujhe gunda chahiye, na chahiye mawali
Main hoon DON ki beti
DON ki hi banungi gharwali...
Yeh baat samaj aai
Ya fir doon ek gali...
Teri bhehan ki..

Na samajhana mujhe anadi
Main hoon ek khiladi

hehehe

TIME PASS REAL - KAKSHA SADE SAATH PASS

TIME PASS REAL

Judge - Karwai shuru kare.

Vakil Babu - Kitna padhe ho?

Male Client  - Sade Saath Kaksha tak.

ROMIL - Hahaha... Bhehan ke l..d yahi harami hai...Seedha jawab nahi de sakta hai... Vakil sahab iska divorce karao...  yeh saala ulta bolta hoga tabhi ladki divorce chah rahi hai..

Vakil Babu - Seedha jawab de.

Male Client - Kaksha aath ki chhamai pariksha pass kiye hue hai.

Romil -  hahaha...

Helicoptor tukde-tukde hua fir bhi bach gaya

Helicopter tukde-tukde hua fir bhi bach gaya

Kaash mare hue bacche bhi baddua de paate.

Jinki juban bari hui ho apshabdon aur galiyon se

Aise log bhi satsang hai sunate.

Khud to bhare jaate hai rupiyon ki potliyan

Aur dusaron ko mooh-maya se dur rehna hai sekhate.

Woh kya jaane Krishna kya hota hai

Jo roop lekar Krishna ka, khud ko bhagwan hai kehlate.

aur

Uska ashram hai ya bacchon ki mrityunshala

Aisi kai kaali-kartoot uski satyata pramadit hai karte.

- Romil

Na Bole Tum...Na Maine Kuch Kahan Wallpapers

Megha and Mohan will be seen romancing and honeymooning to Nepal alongwith their children.

Ramleela maidan se hunkaar bharte hai ki Sarkar ukhad phenkege hum

Ramleela maidan se hunkaar bharte hai ki Sarkar ukhad phenkege hum

Lagta hai bhool gaye hai aurat ke libaas mein bhage the hum.

Gaye hai farzi passport ke chakkar mein jail

Shaheedon ke saath tasveer chipka kar khud ko mahanpurush kehte hai hum.

Jo khareedate hai jakar videshon mein upmahadeep aur sampattiyan

Woh hi kehte hai kala dhan bharat layenge hum.

Sabko bhojan

Sabko pani

Sabko shiksha

Sabko swastha

Sabko rojgar

Chalo aise muddon par andolan kare hum.

Aabadi mein No. 1,

Olympic mein No. 55,

40% Aabadi garibi rekha se niche

Chalo in aakadon ko badalne ka sankalp le hum.

Ek ghar

Ek gaadi

Ek bank account

Chalo apni seemao mein bandh kar saada jeevan, uccha vichar apnaye hum.

- Romil Lucknawi

Aaj mujhe fever hai...

Aaj mujhe fever hai
Aaj mujhe fever hai
Nose band hai,
Cough bhi jama hua hai
Aaj mujhe fever hai
Aaj mujhe fever hai...

Abhi bahar jayunga
Raj Laxmi ke baramde mein tehal kar kulfi khayunga
Fir kisi acchi si bengali mithai ka anand lunga
Fir awaragardi karte hue ghar wapas aa jayunga.

Aaj mujhe fever hai
Aaj mujhe fever hai...

TIMEPASS - BERTH KYA HAI?

TIMEPASS - BERTH KYA HAI?

Railway TT - Berth  kya hai?
Romil - Ji...

Railway TT - Tumhari Berth kya hai?
Romil - Ji 03 August 1982.

Railway TT - Aare 30 saal ke ghadhe Date of Birth nahi... Seat yani Berth Kya hai?
Romil - 30.

Hehehe.

BAS AISE HI....

BAS AISE HI....

Suna to aisa laga
Jaise chand khidki pe utar raha ho.
''Bas apne ghar ja rahi hoon main''

''Bahut jald milegi tumko tumhari dreamgirl''
Padh-padh kar muskura raha hoon main.

''Red hot maxxi... aur Piya tu ab to aaja..aaja aaja''
Aaj raat 5 years ka barrier todh dungi main.

''18 saal baad bhaiya ko Rakhi bandhi''
Lagta hai jawan ho gai hoon main.

''Usko nafrat bhi karta hoon, pyar bhi karta hoon''
Kahin paagal, psycho to nahi hoon main.

''Unreplacement, unrecover relation''
Kaash naye sambandh jodh pati main...

#Romil

Mohammed Rafi - Top 100 Songs

Mohammed Rafi (Hindi: मोहम्मद रफ़ी, December 24, 1924 July 31, 1980), often addressed as Rafi Sahib, was an Indian playback singer whose career spanned four decades and is one of the most versatile male singers in the history of Indian cinema. 

1. Hum Intezar Karenge Tera Qayamat Tak (Bahu Begum - 1967)

2. Chhoo Lene Do Nazuk Hothon Ko (Kaajal - 1965)

3. Aaj Ki Raat Mere Dil Ki Salaami Le Le (Ram Aur Shyam - 1967)

4. Dil Jo Na Keh Saka Wahi Raaz-E-Dil (Bheegi Raat - 1965)

5. Ehsaan Tera Hoga Mujh Par (Junglee - 1961)

6. Zindagi Bhar Nahi Bhulegi Ye Barsaat Ki Raat (Barsaat Ki Raat - 1960)

7. Jo Baat Tujhmein Hai Teri Tasveer Mein Nahin (Taj Mahal - 1963)

8. Roshan Tumheen Se Duniya (Parasmani - 1963)

9. Koi Sagar Dil Ko Bahlata Nahin (Dil Diya Dard Liya - 1966)

10. Aap Ke Haseen Rukh Pe Aaj Naya Noor Hai (Baharein Phir Bhi Aayengi - 1966)

11. Tumhari Zulf Ke Saaye Mein Sham Kar Doonga (Naunihal - 1967)

12. Door Rehkar Na Karo Baat Kareeb Aa Jao (Amanat - 1977)

13. Ab Kya Misaal Doon Main (Aarti - 1962)

14. Husn Wale Tera Jawab Nahin (Gharana - 1961)

15. Dil Ki Awaaz Bhi Sun Mere Fasane Pe Na Ja (Hum Saaya - 1968)

16. Teri Zulfon Se Judaai To Nahin Maangi Thi (Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai - 1961)

17. Jab Jab Bahar Aaye Aur Phool Muskuraye (Taqdeer - 1967)

18. Jiya O Jiya Kuchh Bol Do (Jab Pyar Kisi Se Hota Hai - 1961)

19. Yun To Humne Laakh Haseen Dekhe Hain (Tumsa Nahin Dekha - 1957)

20. Thoda Ruk Jaayegi To Tera Kya Jayega (Patanga - 1949)

21. Mast Baharon Ka Main Aashiq (Farz - 1967)

22. Chahe Koi Mujhe Junglee Kahe (Junglee - 1961)

23. Aai Aai Ya Karoon Main Kya Suku Suku (Junglee - 1961)

24. Baar Baar Dekho Najar (China Town - 1974)

25. Main Jatt Yamla Pagla Deewana (Pratigya - 1975)

26. Kis Ko Pyaar Karoon (Tumse Achcha Kaun Hai - 1969)

27. Laakhon Hain Nigaah Mein Zindagi Ki Raah Mein (Phir Wahi Dil Laya Hoon - 1963)

28. Nain Ladd Jai Hain To Manwa Mein Kasak (Ganga Jamuna - 1961)

29. Mere Pairon Mein Ghunghroo Bandha De (Sangharsh - 1968)

30. Radhike Tune Bansuri Churai (Beti Bete - 1964)

31. Nache Mann Mora Magan Tikk (Meri Surat Teri Aankhen - 1963)

32. Madhuban Mein Radhika Naache Re (Kohinoor - 1960) 

33. Khoya Khoya Chand Khula Aasman (Kala Bazaar - 1960)

34. Ye Reshmi Zulfein Ye Sharbati Aankhein (Do Raaste - 1969)

35. Ye Wadiyaan Ye Fizayein Bula Rahi (Aaj Aur Kal - 1963)

36. Ae Gulbadan Phoolon Ki Mahek (Professor - 1962)

37. Aane Se Uske Aaye Bahaar Jaane Se Uske (Jeene Ki Raah - 1969)

38. Badi Door Se Aaye Hain (Samjhauta - 1973)

39. Mujhe Ishq Hai Tujhi Se (Umeed - 1971)

40. Khuda Bhi Aasman Se Jab Zameen Par (Dharti - 1970)

41. Ye Jo Chilman Hai Dushman Hai (Mehboob Ki Mehandi - 1971)

42. Ae Phoolon Ki Rani Baharon Ki Mallika (Aarzoo - 1965)

43. Tere Naam Ka Deewana Tere Dar Ko (Suraj Aur Chanda - 1973)

44. Baharon Phool Barsao Mera Mehboob Aaya Hai (Suraj - 1966)

45. Tu Kahan Ye Bata Is Nasheeli Raat Mein (Tere Ghar Ke Samne - 1963)

46. Dil Ka Bhanwar Kare Pukar (Tere Ghar Ke Samne - 1963)

47. Pukarta Chala Hoon Main (Mere Sanam - 1965)

48. Khuli Palak Mein Jhutha Gussa (Professor - 1962)

49. Tum Bin Jaun Kahan (Pyar Ka Mausam - 1969)

50. Na Tu Zameen Ke Liye Aur Na Aasmaan Ke Liye (Dastaan - 1972)

51. Khush Rahe Tu Sada Ye Dua Hai Meri (Khilona - 1970)

52. Patthar Ke Sanam Tujhe Humne (Patthar Ke Sanam - 1967)

53. Rang Aur Noor Ki Baraat Kise Pesh Karoon (Ghazal - 1964)

54. Chahoonga Main Tujhe Saanjh Savere (Dosti - 1964)

55. Gham Uthane Ke Liye Main To Jiye Jaunga (Mere Huzoor - 1968)

56. Kya Se Kya Ho Gaya Bewafa Tere Pyar Mein (Guide - 1965)

57. Mere Dushman Tu Meri Dosti Ko Tarse (Aaye Din Bahaar Ke - 1966)

58. Tujhko Pukare Mera Pyar (Neel Kamal - 1968)

59. Teri Galiyon Mein Na Rakhenge Kadam (Hawas - 1974)

60. Donon Ne Kiya The Pyar Magar (Mahua - 1969)

61. Ye Duniya Ye Mehfil Mere Kaam Ki Nahin (Heer Ranjha - 1970)

62. Tum Mujhe Yun Bhula Na Paoge (Pagla Kahin Ka - 1970)

63. Is Bhari Duniya Mein Koi Bhi Hamara (Bharosa - 1963)

64. Khilona Jaan Kar Tum Mera Dil (Khilona - 1970)

65. Basti Basti Parwat Parwat Ghata Chhaye (Railway Platform - 1955)

66. Koi Sone Ka Dilwala (Maya - 1961)

67. Mera To Jo Bhi Kadam Hai (Dosti - 1964)

68. Jaane Walon Zara Mud Ke Dekho (Dosti - 1964)

69. Nafrat Ki Duniya Ko Chhod Kar (Haathi Mere Saathi - 1971)

70. O Door Ke Musafir Mujhko Bhi Saath Le Le Re (Udan Khatola - 1955)

71. Ye Zindagi Ke Mele Kabhi Kum Na Honge (Mela - 1948)

72. Yaad Na Jaaye Beete Dinon Ki (Dil Ek Mandir - 1963)

73. O Duniya Ke Rakhwale (Baiju Bawra - 1952)

74. Ye Mehlon Ye Takhton Ye Tajon Ki (Pyaasa - 1957)

75. Jo Gujar Rahi Hai Mujh Par Use Kaise (Mere Huzoor - 1968)

76. Subah Na Aayee Shaam Na Aayee (Cha Cha Cha - 1964)

77. Achchha Hi Hua Dil Toot Gaya (Maa Behan Aur Biwi - 1974)

78. Naseeb Mein Jiske Jo Likha Tha (Do Badan - 1966)

79. Hum Tumse Juda Ho Kar (Ek Sapera Ek Lutera - 1965)

80. Mile Na Phool To (Anokhi Raat - 1968)

81. Taqdeer Ka Fasana (Sehra - 1963)

82. Aaj Purani Raahon Se (Aadmi - 1968)

83. Matlab Nikal Gaya To (Amanat - 1955)

84. Deewana Mujhsa Nahin (Teesri Manzil - 1966)

85. Laal Chhadi Maidan Khadi (Janwar - 1965)

86. Kaan Mein Jhumka Chaal Mein Thumka (Sawan Bhadon - 1970)

87. Gulabi Aankhen Jo Teri Dekhi (The Train - 1964)

88. Aaye Re Khilone Wala (Khilona - 1970)

89. Likhe Jo Khat Tujhe (Kanyadan - 1968)

90. Chalke Teri Aankhon Se Sharaab (Aarzoo - 1965)

91. Le Gaee Dil Gudiya Japan Ki (Love In Tokyo - 1966)

92. Chhupne Wale Saamne Aa (Tumsa Nahin Dekha - 1957)

93. Tu Mere Sapnon Ki Rani Banegi (Gora Aur Kala - 1972)

94. Savere Wali Gaadi Se Chale Jaayenge (Laat Saheb - 1967)

95. Janam Janam Ka Saath Hai (Tumse Achcha Kaun Hai - 1969)

96. Kahan Chal Diye Idhar To Aao (Jhuk Gaya Aasmaan - 1968)

97. Badan Pe Sitare Lapete Huye (Prince - 1969)

98. Kaun Hai Jo Sapnon Mein Aaya (Jhuk Gaya Aasman - 1968)

99. O Dilbar Janiya (Haseena Maan Jayegi - 1968)

100. Banda Parwar Thaam Lo Jigar (Phir Wahi Dil Laya Hoon - 1963)

TIMEPASS - DNA TEST

TIMEPASS - DNA TEST

Lawyer - Aap apni wife par shak kar rahe hai? Usko charitheen samaj rahe hai? Aap apne bete ka DNA kyun test karwana chahate hai?

Jis din tere kadmo mein mitti ke rode aane lagenge

Jis din tere kadmo mein mitti ke rode aane lagenge
Us din tumhe majboor ke bahane samajh aane lagenge.

Aaj  fhek raha hai pathar jise shaitan samajh kar
Kal usi mein tujhe khuda nazar aane lagenge.

Tu jise baccha samajh kar mar raha hai
Mat bhool
Kal uske bhi pankh aane lagenge.

Jhopadi todane walon us din milega mere dil ko sukuun
Jis din ameeron ke gair-kanuni bangale tode jane lagenge.

#Romil

जिस दिन तेरे कदमों में मिट्टी के रोड़े आने लगेंगे 

उसे दिन तुम्हें मजबूर के बहाने समझ आने लगेंगे... 

आज फेंक रहा है पत्थर जिसे शैतान समझकर 

कल उसी में तुझे खुदा नजर आने लगेंगे... 

तू जिसे बच्चा समझकर मार रहा है 

मत भूल 

कल उसके भी पंख आने लगेंगे... 

झोपड़ी तोड़ने वालों उस दिन मिलेगा मेरे दिल को सुकून

जिस दिन अमीरों के गैर-क़ानूनी बंगले तोड़े जाने लगेंगे...

#रोमिल

Kitab-Qalam kis bacche ko pasand nahi aata hai

Kitab-Qalam kis bacche ko pasand nahi aata hai

Kaun baccha khushi se karkhane jata hai.

Na woh sone-chandi ke jewar banata hai

Na woh aashiyane sajata hai

Fir bhi Log use kehte hai hindustan-e-karigar

Woh to ghar mein baith kar Tiranga banata hai.

Use Khuda ne baksha hai dosti ka hunar

Woh friendship day par garib-majlumo ko dost banata hai.

Koi use daket, to koi use baagi kehta hai

Jab insaan ho jaye insaniyat ka shikar tab woh banduk uthata hai.

Aur

Mujhe mat samjhana, samajhdar logon

Insaan jab zehar se bhar jaye to sirf karwahat nikalta hai.

- Romil

TIMEPASS - STATUS SYMBOL

TIMEPASS - STATUS SYMBOL

1. Bas tumhare 3 hi boyfriend hai, mere to 12 hai. Next week tak 15 boyfriend ho jayenge.

2. Tumhare to facebook par 24 friends hai. Mere to friends facebook par 500+ hai.

3. Tumne keval 7 hi rakhi bandi, are maine to 17 rakhi bandi hai.. apne  brothers, cousin, aur 15 boyfriends ko bhi baand di... taki woh boyfriends ek-dusare se meri raksha karte rahe.


Hehehehehe


SIMPLE GIRL

1. One boyfriend, jaldi hi hubby banne wala hai.
2. No need for facebook account.
3. Two rakhi... Ek bhaiya ko aur dusari Gannu (Ganesha) Ji ko.

TIMEPASS

TIMEPASS

Romil - Antakshari hai?

A SPECIAL DAY !!!

A SPECIAL DAY

3rd August

TIMEPASS

TIMEPASS

FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL

FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL

Doctor saheb ki wife ko ek patient utha ke le gaya
Kyunki...
Doctor saheb ne Sirdardi ki medicine ki jagah
Apni Wife ka naam likh diya tha...

Hehehe

Chalo lafz kaagaz par baitha dete hai

Chalo lafz kaagaz par baitha dete hai

Usko paimana-e-ishq suna dete hai

Aadatan hai uska bewafai karna

Hum aitbaar pasand hai samjha dete hai..

Aur

Baap kaun hai yeh batata hai DNA

Hum aise vigyan ko salaam karte hai

Waise jin rishton mein na ho pyar-mohabbat

Hum un rishton ko door se hi pranam karte hai.

- Romil

Ek butt toota aur hungama mach gaya

Ek butt toota aur hungama mach gaya

Mere sheharwalon ko kaala naag das gaya

Kisi ki shararat samjhe ya fir shazish

Hawan mein yeh kaisa jaat-pat ka zehar ghul gaya.

Dekh ke jali bastiyon ki halat khali waqt mein ro lenge yaaron

Aye khuda yeh kya se kya ho gaya

Kaun kehta hai zarre-zarre mein khuda rehta hai 

Kal ek masoom sa baccha bhook se marr gaya

Kaun samjha hai kaun samjhega bastiyan ujadane ka gum

Daulat mein giraftar insaan, shaitan ho gaya

Rahat camps se aati hai rote-bilakte masumon ki awazein

Na jaane rab inko bachpan mein kaisa grahan lag gaya.

- Romil

Aaj mere shehar mein jhoom ke barsat ho rahi hai

Aaj mere shehar mein jhoom ke barsat ho rahi hai

Khushi ka din hai ya fir qayenat ro rahi hai

Mujhse mooh fherane wale zara mud ke dekh

Tere bageir meri shab bhi, shehar bhi ho rahi hai

Mayawati ki sarkar mein kam se kam pathar to lag rahe the

Akhilesh ki sarkar to aisa lag raha hai ki so rahi hai

Tanhai mein mar gaya ek aur bollywood superstar

Samajh nahi aata zindagi dilruba ya qatilana ho rahi hai.

- Romil